Out Your Head

Here’s something interesting about confidence and ability—well, I’ve found it interesting. I have had a block regarding my ability to publish a blog, and it’s been due to that first picture I put up on the first post—the very biblical one, “Finding The Truth.” It’s weird because I created it with AI and was never comfortable with the image. So why have I not simply deleted it??? I kept telling myself, convincing myself it was there for a reason, nothing to do with the Bible, and that there was significance in the symbolism of the moons and people.

Looking closely now at the image, it’s making sense, as this blog is about going back and finding the roots of my existence—where I truly come from, my Celtic, Druid DNA. What I have been going through is known as “creative anxiety,” where that fear and self-judgment have caused paralysis, procrastination, and a lot of self-doubt, resulting in a fear of exposure. It’s that fear of writing about personal experiences. And those personal experiences will be the core subject of the blog—a gateway to completing my book that’s been on the back burner for the last five years.

I’m working on separating creation from judgment, getting over the imposter syndrome, and allowing myself to be vulnerable and more open. This feels better already—being able to explain myself. Self-articulation has always been a problem for me; the ideas, thoughts, and feelings are locked up in my head, and the key has always been a problem when it comes to unlocking and expressing what I want to say. Just writing this blog, I can feel something has shifted. I’m on the move, riding through the fear. It’s all going to be okay; I’m jumping the hurdles and winning the race.